I am the very model of a Massachusetts Liberal

I am the very model of a Massachusetts Liberal

I’m educated technocratic sober and responsible

I know the bloodline Kennedy, its lineage familial

From Joseph One to Joseph Three’s blood quanta biological!

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters commonsensical

I support the Unions and their workers as a principal

But also their ideas are bad, wrong-headed and inimical

To my economic theories that must always favor capital.

I stoke my fear of Trump by watching lots and lots and lots of news

But I will vote for Baker, even though he shares all Donald’s views.

Nothing big can change, no corporate profits can be cut into 

It is good to live in Hell so long as Hell is painted blue.

Any whiff of popular demands I find deplorable

I am the very model of a Massachusetts Liberal!

I love to march for Women’s Rights and Science once or twice a year

Third time’s the charm, or maybe four, our tactic’s working fine, my dear!

Our Dem’s control eighty percent of all State House and Senate seats

Bob Deleo’s doing great, his speakership cannot be beat.

It makes me proud to learn he used his veto-proof majority

To give himself a massive raise, that is a good priority!

If we treat Chuck Baker nicely, we can all enjoy a tax rebate

Our system’s working well enough, we just need more civil debate. 

However I will not engage with Marx or ideas socialist

I’d much prefer to host a party for dear Alan Dershowitz!

I love means tested programs, those are durable and super cool!

I love to have diversity, just not at our suburban school.

I’m very good at sabotaging universal policies,

Abandoning the working class while funding growth of the police

“Any Blue Will Do” serves as my axiom political

I am the very model of a Massachusetts Liberal.

In fact I am an expert in the science of a strong campaign

For President: One must never canvass in the state of Michigan!

I do not like to see the Nazis marching down in Charlottesville

I agree it is a pity our police are trained to shoot to kill

Black children but the Law exists mainly to guard my property

Whose value is determined by my neighborhood’s caucasity.

I believe we need strong borders to protect our Nation’s populace

From refugees and children fleeing genocidal violence

Yes, even though I do not wear a swastika or clench my fist

I am the very model of a modern white supremacist!

Oops! I meant to say my voting record is impeccable

I am the very model of a Massachusetts Liberal!

Jacob Kramer